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A Common Dream
Dreaming about having both a girl and a boy in your family? You're not alone.
The Picture-Perfect Family: Beyond the Poster
When we think of the ideal family, many of us might picture that classic poster hanging in a doctor's office or an advertisement in a magazine. You know the one: it usually features smiling parents, a playful dog, and two kids - a boy and a girl, each perfectly embodying the joys of childhood. These images, while clichéd, tap into a common dream among many aspiring parents: the hope for a family that includes both a son and a daughter.
Understanding the Dream of a Balanced Family
This dream of a balanced family is shared globally. Marcia Summers, a professor of educational psychology, encapsulates this sentiment well, noting, "Having a boy and a girl is considered the ideal American family.” Studies from the United States, Canada, and Europe consistently reveal that parents, regardless of their first child's gender, often hope their next child will be of the opposite sex. This isn't about favoring one gender over the other; it’s about longing for a full spectrum of family life experiences.
Global Aspirations for a Gender-Balanced Family
The desire for a balanced family isn't new. A 2014 study from the Journal of Population Economics found that parents with two children of the same gender often hope for a third child to balance the gender dynamics. In Canada, a Royal Commission report revealed that nearly all prospective parents have a strong wish to have at least one child of each sex.
Seeking Diverse Family Experiences
Parents often wish for both a girl and a boy to enrich the family dynamic, enabling each child to explore a wide variety of play and fantasy worlds. The hope is for siblings to learn from each other, exploring both the traditionally "boyish" or "girlish" domains of play and imagination, and also learn to be respectful towards the opposite gender, fostering more equality. This exposure, many hope, ensures that each child appreciates and values a broad spectrum of experiences.
Shifting Preferences from Sons to Daughters
Traditionally, there has been a common preference for first-born sons, influenced by economic benefits and societal norms. However, recent studies indicate a significant transformation in these age-old trends, particularly in gender-equal societies. Research from Sweden shows an increasing preference for daughters over the past decade, a shift supported by new registry data on birth rates and parental surveys.
Robert Lynch's research on implicit gender preferences highlights that while both sexes have preferences for children of their own gender, women have a stronger inclination towards daughters than men do towards sons.
The Emotional and Social Factors Driving the Preference for Daughters
The emotional connection between mothers and daughters often influences these preferences. Many women look forward to nurturing a unique mother-daughter relationship, anticipating shared experiences. Sociological studies suggest that early interactions with gender-typed toys, such as dolls, play a role in fostering a nurturing instinct from a young age, which may contribute to the preference for having daughters.
Sentiment Among
Mothers with Sons
The data pointing to the deep-seated desires among mothers who already have sons is particularly striking. According to a survey:
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59% of women with a son have a strong preference for a daughter as their next child.
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About a third of these women have actively considered methods to sway the likelihood of having a daughter.
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More than 70% of women with a son are willing to change their diet to influence their next child's gender.
Consider Filippa, a 38-year-old mother, who deeply wished for a daughter after having two sons. Despite loving her children, she found it challenging to reconcile with the idea of not having a daughter. Her story sheds light on the emotional dimensions of parental preferences, often referred to as "gender disappointment."
Choosing Natural
Over Invasive
While a minority of parents explore invasive methods like IVF for gender selection, most prefer non-invasive approaches. Dietary adjustments, supported by scientific evidence, are the most popular method among those aiming to influence their child’s gender naturally.
Embracing Your
Family Dream
In the end, whether your family fits the poster image or not, it's the unique combination of personalities, love, and shared experiences that truly defines it as complete.
Whilst you are in the stage of family planning, go ahead and dream without limits. Envision the magical world of your family story, where each element, from dinosaur roars to fairy wings, contributes its own special hue. As you take steps to shape your family's composition, remember it's okay to try to influence the outcome, to hope, and to strive for your heart's desires.
And when life unfolds, embrace it with open arms, knowing that every twist and turn adds to the beauty of your family's journey.
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